Daydreaming...

If I could be anywhere in the world, I would be on a beach in California. Or no, actually I would be hiking through mountain trails...or rather, the Bruce Trail - I enjoyed it SO much two years ago when I first experienced it. The sun would be warm, with not a hint of winter in the air. The trees would be green. I would have nowhere to be. And Nathan would be with me. There would be no expectations on me. And I would be there for about a week. Maybe even only three or four days...because any more than that, and I would feel somewhat lazy. And then from there, I would to go Saskatchewan and visit with family. And while I'm visiting family, I would travel through BC and Alberta, seeing family and friends along the way. Yes, it is what it sounds like...I would "Mennonite" my way across western Canada. And then, I would have to go to Indiana to visit my sister, who moved SO far away, just a month ago. I would see where she lives and where she's going to school. Then, since I'm that far, I would continue on to Ontario and visit Nathan's family, who I've only met once...and would love to see again! And then I would think, "I'm in Ontario, I'm basically on the east coast!" So I would continue to travel towards the coast, seeing Quebec on the way, and eventually come to PEI and think, "I was not nearly on the coast when I was in Ontario." This would conclude my Canada-wide tour, because I have very little desire to see anything further north...sorry NWT... Once I was done seeing PEI, I would fly home (oh, by the way, I am flying to all these destinations...), because, by this time, it's been a few months and I need my own bed again. And then I would be home and sleep for a week.

Aah...if only travel was free and didn't take time. I would travel so much. There are so many places I would love to see...without a budget or timeline. I'll save my Europe, South America, and Africa daydreams for another day, though...

And now for something a little more random...

A short list of random thoughts:

• If I ever move, do I change my blog name/address???
• I am excited for pizza for supper, and I never thought I'd say that.
• The fad of skinny jeans was a mistake...the next generation (or lack thereof) will realize this.
• I am not ready for winter.
• I am officially convinced: Macs are the better choice.
• Cameras were a great invention.
• Dogs are great...their smell, hair, and "messes" are less great.
• I need suggestions for a 10 hour car trip tomorrow...the fourth 10 hour car trip in just over a week...post your suggestions quick!
• I can't wait for Christmas.
• I don't like birds unless they are in the wild, away from me, and not flying overhead.
• I can't go too long without cookies.
  
• I put up a poll on the left side of my blog. Take a second and log your opinion. I'd love to hear the consensus.
  

A Retreat

So, I've been trying to add some pictures that I took last night to both my blogs, but they just look weird when I add them (all distorted???) so those will have to wait. Let me describe them, though, so you can picture them to go along with my words...First, on the left hand side, in a medium size, in letter format, you can imagine a picture of Nathan walking Lennox. Nathan is walking away from me and Lennox is looking back to see where I am. In front of Nathan (so in the back ground) the sun is setting and there is either fog or dust hanging in the air above the road ahead and the soccer field of the Bethany campus to the left (where the girls team was practicing - go team!). There are trees in the distance, where the road curves to the left, but these are mostly a silhouette against the setting sun. The next picture is pretty much the same, it is also on the left side of the blog in a medium sort of size. This one is positioned as a landscape. It looks alot like the first, only it also includes Nathan's mom & dad and their dog, Sheila, who is a golden retreiver. They are all walking into a hazy, dreamy sunset.

If you go over to my other blog...you will see post #67. It is a picture of two dogs running very fast. Lennox is in front, either teasing or running for his life away from Sheila. The background is blurred completely (as when something runs very quickly) and the dogs are just barely in focus. The dogs are backlit with the setting sun lighting Sheila's golden back perfectly.

One day I will try to post these again so that you can see how accurate your imagination actually is. Or how good I am at describing things...

Yesterday, Nathan and I drove down to Hepburn, Saskatchewan. (warning:about to get sappy) This is the place where we first met. The place we did most of our dating. The place we held hands for the first time. The place we left on our very first date from. Alas, not the place we had our first kiss, but where our skills in that area were somewhat honed. It holds a special place in our hearts, and it is always lovely to be back. The biggest reason it is so special to be back is that Nathan's parents and brother now live here, but it is kinda nice to be able to return to a place with so many memories every once in a while.

Some of you may have noticed that I posted back on Friday, Sept 19 that we were headed out on a "sweet escape". You may ask, "Didn't you say that you were headed out in a few minutes for the promised land, Niki?" Good question, blog reader friend. This has a long story behind it and I have yet to decide if I will tell it...let me think...

Ok, after talking with Nathan (who's relaxing beside me with a game controller in his hands), here goes:

Starting on Thursday, Sept 11, a few of my posts have been Psalm 139...Here goes...Some of these days you just need to close your eyes for a while...He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be...Sweet Escape... These have all been written regarding something that has been changing my life, and my husband's, for just over two weeks now.

I guess we could call this secret #5?

Two weeks ago, on Wednesday, Sept 10, it came out to the church that Nathan has been struggling with internet pornography. This is something that has never been a secret from me, but Nathan never quite knew how to tell the church or ask for accountability from anyone within the church. Who is safe? Who will judge? Who will understand? After feeling freedom from this struggle throughout Bible school and our first year of marriage/the first year in the church in Altona, this struggle came back. At that time, Nathan sought accountability from me and a friend out of town, but when the meetings stopped with the out of town friend, things started to get harder and harder. I continued to support, love, forgive and keep Nathan accountable every day, but little did we know that this was something that couldn't be kicked with just the two of us fighting.

When the church found out, it was a breaking point. It is, understandably so, a source of shame and darkness. Something that is much more comfortable when in the dark and when it started being brought into the light, we got uncomfortable. We went through periods of feeling judged, helped, understood, misunderstood and vulnerable. The first Sunday being in church after everything came out to the board/other pastors, was the Sunday of God breaking me in church ("Here goes..."). I believe that God wanted to break me at the same time as Nathan so that I wouldn't be trying to hold more than I could handle. He gently took my burden for a child that Sunday and helped me to understand that he is in faithful control. I handed over my struggle with not having children yet, and sharing openly about this stuggle was a huge step in being able to let go.

The first week of the church knowing was filled with meetings and confession and coming into the light for Nathan. For me, it was a week of supporting Nathan and praying and being stretched. The next Wednesday, after Nathan confessed to the church board, he was asked to step down for a two week suspension until they figured out what to do. We were glad for this decision and thought that this would be a good chance to head to Saskatchewan a couple days early to see family and have a chance to think and pray about the situation from a distance. (Isn't distance wonderful?) We arrived in Hepburn late Friday night and got a call from the board, asking us to return for a meeting the following night because they had made a plan. Now, we completely understand that the church board would have asked us to stay in town longer if they'd thought it was probable that we would be needed before Nathan's class started. But in all the activities and stress of the previous week, it didn't cross their minds that we should stay in town until after their Friday night meeting. I completely understand and forgive them for their oversight. Nonetheless, we were frustrated, tired from the 10 hour drive, and turning around less than 12 hours later for another 10 hour drive.

We returned to Altona on Saturday and attended the meeting and were presented with a plan for healing and restoration. After much prayer and thought, we accepted the proposal and have felt peace since.

The proposal includes several steps of counseling, a spiritual retreat, and accountability, but perhaps the largest step is a 5 month unpaid suspension from ministry for Nathan. We couldn't see how we could continue to serve while going through all necessary steps of healing, but we also didn't realize what a 5 month suspension would mean until a couple days later when we started thinking about jobs and finances and everything that this change in our lives would entail. But we can say, with confidence, that this is good.

We made the decision to drive back to Hepburn yesterday with hopes of spending some good time with family (who we hadn't seen in months), relaxing and being away from the situation that seems to affect every area of our lives (even runs to the grocery store), and returning rejuvenated and ready to job-search and see what life outside of full-time ministry is like. Throughout our entire married life (aside from our one week honeymoon) we have been in ministry. One week after our wedding, we went to Redberry Bible Camp to work for 3 months and mixed into the end of that summer at camp, we were already moving to Altona and starting ministry as their youth pastor couple. This will be a nice change in pace to understand each other outside of full-time ministry.

Our marriage has been strong and growing stronger throughout these last two weeks. God has given us a measure of patience, peace, and unending love for one another. Without God and people's prayers, I'm sure our life would have looked much different lately. But God is faithful and he has been providing. I'm sure the next five months will not be all easy, but I have confidence that God will provide for us financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I guess you could say that "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6)

More secrets...

secret ˈsēkrit
adjective
• not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others
• fond of or good at keeping things about oneself unknown : he can be the most secret man.

Sometimes, I believe, we can lie to ourselves. We can lie even while searching and aching for the truth. We can lie to God. We can be suspect of God’s goodness and faithfulness, even while searching for God and trying to get to know him more. All it takes is not wanting to let go of absolutely everything. All it takes is wanting something so bad that you have a hard time trusting God with it because you’re not sure you’ll like what he does with it.

There is something that I haven’t been able to be honest with myself about. Something that I haven’t been able to give to God because I’m not sure that he will do what I want with it. I’ve held onto a piece of this thing for the past two years (or longer?), not willing to fully submit to God for fear that I’ll be disappointed, or I’ll have to change. I tried to keep control of this, yet the ironic thing is that the entire time I was praying for God to be in control. As if I could pray for God to be in control and, as a reward, receive what I wanted.

Through this breaking point that I have come to in this, God has shown me that this is a skewed theology that I have always had. I’ve prayed for God to be in control of a situation as my way of feeling that I will deserve what I want if I “give it to God.” This doesn’t work and it undermines God’s love, protection, and ultimate will.

Secret #4
Two years ago this month, Nathan and I started trying to have a baby. I thought that this would be a quick conception and that roughly a year later we would most likely be welcoming our first child into the world. The year came and went and there was no child. Nothing at all.

Around the eight months of trying point, I started to get worried. Why was nothing happening? We went through points when our future plans were up in the air and we would take a month or two off of trying. I even tried to go back on the pill, but that was never a good thing for my hormones and between the disappointment of not having a child yet and my hormones going CRAZY, I went through really low, depressed times and wasn’t enjoying life at all anymore. The pill was out, but there are still other forms of birth control, right?

After coming off the pill for the second time, my system leveled out and I felt pretty good, though the thoughts about having a baby wouldn’t leave me. This entire time we were praying for God’s timing for our family and yet I was trying each month to time everything just right and to pray just right and be faithful to God’s will so that he would see my efforts and reward me. And every month (or longer because my body likes to give me hope most months for a couple weeks) I would go through days of extreme discontentment and depression. This would pass fairly quickly most months, usually within a day or two, and the hope for the next month would replace it. Each month I had the hope that this would be the month. This month I would get it right and we would be blessed.

About a year and four months into the process, I was getting fairly worried and talked to my doctor. She said, very quickly, that they don’t even consider testing until it’s been two full years of trying. At that point, she put me on some medication to level out my thyroid levels which, she said, could be the culprit to our infertility. Thinking that this would solve all, I started taking the pills, sure that in three months when my body was adjusted, we would conceive. Another few months go by with nothing.

This summer was the hardest time for me. As we approached the two year mark, I started wondering about testing. Does it show a lack of faith in God if I have tests done to see if everything is normal? Will God prevent me from EVER getting pregnant if I do the tests? I struggled with this for an entire month or longer and, after finding out that there was no pregnancy yet again, I decided to ask for tests. My doctor was still reluctant to do anything (how insensitive, I felt…she must have no idea what trying women go through every month and how this consumes their lives), but when I told her that it had been two years, she sent us for some basic tests.

Best news that I’d heard in a while: All is normal.

Next step is telling our parents and asking them to pray. I felt that this would for sure be the month, so not wanting to say anything for fear of ruining the surprise, we waited until we knew. Again, nothing. So we’ve shared with both of our parents and have asked them to pray. And now I’m sharing with you. Over the past couple years, I have found some people who have also struggled and are stuggling through their honesty and openness on their blogs. So now I am being honest. This has been my struggle for the past two years. I have never had any other dream for my life than to care for my husband and children…to be a wife and mother.

Last Sunday, God broke me. I went to church, as I posted, and each song was about surrender, breaking, and healing. It seemed everyone around me was either pregnant or had a baby. Even Nathan noticed how many babies there were that morning. I held it in until I got home and then cried. I can’t try anymore. I can’t be disappointed for another month. I have to let go of this. I have to truly give it to God and focus on something else. I have to create a new focus/dream for my life, trusting that God knows exactly how much I long for a child of our own. I can trust him with that and have faith that if he wants to bless us with a child, that the timing will be perfect. There is nothing I can do to control that in any way. I just need to truly surrender and trust him. He does know so much better than we do what the timing should be. I think I’m seeing a glimpse of why it hasn’t happened yet…and it’s good.

So that’s secret #4.

Sweet escape...

Saskatchewan. Nathan and I haven't seen Nathan's parents for, what we figure to be, about 6 months. TOO LONG! So in about 45 minutes, we are headed to (small town) in the promised land...I don't know why I posted (small town) when the (small town) is on the elevator...

Now, we'd love if this was just a visit, but the reason for the trip is actually Nathan's schooling. For the past year, Nathan has been working on taking seminary courses, building up to what will eventually be a Masters of Theology. This will open the door to working at Bible colleges and that sort of thing. (note: Nathan has a passion for youth, and plans to continue on in youth ministry, but it's nice to have doors open, and besides that, Nathan just loves school!) So we are heading out soon (Friday noon) and will be gone until Monday (Sept 29th) evening. We realized that we'll be gone only two days shorter than our holidays this summer to California! We'll be covering alot less ground though, and hopefully this will be more relaxing, though possibly less exciting and new! During the week away, I plan to get together with a few friends who I haven't seen in a while. Also I look forward to spending time with family and perhaps spending some time scrapbooking with my mother-in-law. I bought a book last night at Chapters on photographing children. It looks amazing, so I also plan to take that and study it while we're gone. Maybe get some practice with the dogs (because dogs are similar to children, right?) Anyway, so I'm not sure I'll have a chance to post while we're gone, but who knows, I might be inspired!

Thanks for your prayers. Nathan and I have been feeling real peace in the past couple days and that is no doubt due to the many people praying for us. Continue to pray in the next week while we are gone for wisdom and clarity regarding the future. Our marriage has been blessed immensely through this time...Praise the Lord! I never thought I could be closer to Nathan...God does like to prove us wrong sometimes, doesn't he? Mmm-hmm...

He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be...

He's still working on me,

to make me what I ought to be.

It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars

the earth and the sun and Jupiter and Mars

How loving and patient

He must be

cause He's still working on me.

There really ought to be

a sign upon my heart

don't judge me yet

there's an unfinished part.

I'll be perfect

just you wait and see,

cause he's still working on me.

My big sister and little brother and I used to sing this song together in church. One of us would have a saw, one a hammer and one a paintbrush. (the paintbrush was the coveted item) We would saw/hammer/paint as we sang. Pretty cute, I imagine. Anyway, at the time I thought that the song was just talking about God still working on us because we were still kids. Today these words came back to me and I realized that it's still true for adults and it will always be true until the very end. Until we've reached the goal.

So lately, God has been working on both Nathan and I very intensely. And when God works that intensely, usually it hurts, because he has to touch and re-form the areas of our lives that are most close to us and aren't used to divine touch. God is helping us to let go of some areas of our lives that have not been healthy and that is resulting in some growing pains for us. I can't go into detail right now, but ask you who are reading this to offer a prayer to God right now for strength and wisdom for us both. You can pray for us individually, for our marriage, and for our future. Thanks.

Some days you just need to close your eyes for a while

I am so exhausted today.

And what did God tell me this morning?

To press on.

To rely on him for strength.

To remain.

Why couldn't he tell me to take the day off and sleep?

Here goes...

When I was in high school, my grade 12 year, I did a Bible study with a small group called Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden. I remember it impacting my walk with the Lord and relationships with others hugely, so for the past couple months (or is it years already?) I have had the book sitting around, intending to go through it again. Last night I picked it up and Nathan and I decided to go through it together. It was my turn with the book first, so I started reading the introduction and first chapter last night. In the first paragraph, this line hit me and already I was impacted: "The more honest and transparent you are with others, the more you are entrusting your life to the Lord."



Lately, I have felt like my life is full of secrets. As a young pastor's wife, I have struggled with being open and transparent since moving here three years ago. I felt that I needed to appear perfect and I was afraid that all of my decisions and thoughts were being second-guessed and judged. I was afraid of people not liking me or not wanting to be around me. In a new place where you don't know anyone, this fear is very real. New struggles started to develop in our life and, as a result of my fears of sharing and being real, secrets started to form.



Yesterday was a breaking point for me. It started out in church. We sang songs and read Scripture and the words "surrender", "break me", "hope", and "healing" were everywhere. These are words that I have been struggling with lately and it felt like God was talking to me so clearly. This is also something that I've been asking of God lately, for him to speak to me and for me to know it is Him without question. Well, there was no question yesterday morning. I fought back tears through the whole service.



As soon as the service was over, I hurried home as quickly as possible. Upon stepping through the door and collapsing on my bed, the tears flowed. Surrender. Brokenness. Hope. Healing. God promises that if we surrender it all to him, and allow ourselves to be broken, that there is hope and healing in Him. It is suddenly so clear, yet so painful and hard to accept.



After such an emotional morning, to read about being honest and transparent that evening struck a chord in me. Is God asking me to surrender my safety that I feel in my secrets? Is he asking me to surrender certain things in my life that I've been struggling with?



This is a huge step for me. I've been holding everything in for three years. I intend to share my secrets here. I pray that I won't be judged because of them, but if I am, that's the nature of sharing with other humans. You can't take the freedom of sharing without the risk of people not understanding or responding differently than you wish they would. My secrets will not all come out today, but as God frees me, and as I share with certain people first, I will share. I will share in the hope that I can grow to trust God more, that I can grow to trust people more, and that I can encourage others in knowing that they are not alone in their secrets.


So here goes...


My first secret: I am broken. I struggle. I am not perfect. I am selfish. I am human. Just because I'm a pastor's wife, doesn't mean that I have it all together. Surprise!

Number two: I have had a hard time feeling like I fit in in Altona. I have had a hard time making friends and have been bitter against people, families, the town and the church. People have asked how I like Altona and if I feel at home. What am I going to say about this place that the people who ask love? It's their hometown! I've really gone through periods of struggle and depression. I've gotten used to the town and have learned to appreciate certain things about it...I've made some great friends and some feel like family, but some days it still feels like I'm sacrificing things like family/friends/familiarity for the "mission field." I love my life with Nathan and Lennox in our house on Second Street, but some days are still tough.

Number three: I am not sure that I am cut out for youth ministry. I love youth. I love to be around them. I love to pour into their lives. But I'm not sure that that is where my passions and giftings lie. How terrible...a youth pastor's wife who doesn't feel the same way about youth ministry as her husband.

And so there's a start. Honesty. Transparency. Brokenness.

Happy Birthday...

This is a picture that I took with my birthday gift...

And this IS my birthday gift...

For my birthday this year, from Nathan, Nathan's parents, and Nathan's grandma, I got a brand new lens for our XTi...so FUN! It's 18-300 so the zoom is so huge it's CREEPY! I have only taken it out of the house once (which is where you can really use it without spying on the neighbours). I took it on a walk with Lennox and when he was out in the field, I could get a decent close-up of him! I think I'm going to enjoy this!
Thanks Nathan, Mom&Dad McCorkindale, and Grandma Irish!

For my actual birthday (I got my gift a couple weeks early), Saturday, Sept 13, I was able to attend the wedding of our first youth, Alyssa, to Mike. It was a BEAUTIFUL wedding...the bride was stunning, the groom glowing and the couple...so in love. It was a great way to spend my birthday...plus, I didn't have to cook myself supper! Not that Nathan would have let me cook supper on my birthday anyway...

Congratulations, Mike & Alyssa!

Psalm 139 (NLT)

O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,
you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.


What verse/section sticks out to you?

Photography, again...

So the other night, Nathan had a meeting at the church and I was wondering what I would do with my evening off. Nathan suggested setting up a background and some good lighting and taking some pictures, not thinking that I would actually be interested in doing that. But what a great idea! So I set up a mini photography studio in our living room and had fun taking pictures the entire time Nate was gone, and it wasn't a short meeting! Here are some of the results (a few are on mccorkindale.blogspot.com too...):

I realize as I look at these that I haven't quite achieved that "professional" factor...still a long ways from that, but maybe one day I will get there. I would also love to try some portrait photography, but that requires faster setup and more direction, and a willing, patient subject. Plus, I would need a bigger studio! My little one foot by one foot "studio" in the living room the other night only allowed for slinkies and other cameras!

So which are your favorites?

I am not inspired today.

I would love to update my blog...but I feel I have nothing to say.

Writer's block, I suppose.

I remember how tolerant my creative writing teacher was in high school when I would claim to have writer's block and talk to my friends for the entire class.

That was a wonderful class.

But I am not in class.

Do you ever wish you were back in high school?

Me neither.

Well, not really.

Sometimes, though, when I see all the school supplies and new clothes and the fresh start...

But no, I don't miss it.

I don't miss the drama.

I do miss the learning though, and being stretched.

Sometimes I think about going back to school.

Maybe for photography.

Maybe for early childhood education.

Maybe for a bachelor of education.

Maybe pharmacy.

Maybe business.

No, not business...I've never wanted to go into business.

I would like to do something I enjoy that takes thought though.

Problem solving.

That's why I enjoy teaching piano so much.

It makes me use my mind to make it interesting...

aka. problem solving.

I start teaching again on Wednesday.

I'm pretty excited.

Maybe I should pursue teaching music?

What an intimidating thought.

So many intimidating thoughts.



Well, that's enough uninspired-ness for one day.

One rainy, uninspired day.

Perhaps not actually uninspired.

Perhaps just writer's block.

My long weekend (with pictures and without alot of words)...

(captions below the pictures)

Me eating paint...

Painting all our outside window and door frames...
Don't fall!
Our bedroom before...
So cheesy...!
My helper...

Me.
After.

We actually bought a new bed (frame) so we're off the floor.

We feel like quite the adults...

Ta-da!

In answer to your questions...

When will I next be in Edmonton?
Well, I will probably next be in Edmonton (or Edmonton area) next June for my cousin, Kyra, and her fiance (Jordan)'s wedding. Not sure that I remember the date right now...but I'll for sure be there for that!

Am I still doing CM (Creative Memories)?
I'm pretty sure this wasn't actually a "question" for me to answer here, but I didn't get many questions, so the answer is no. I haven't been selling CM since early this spring. I just didn't find that I had nearly enough sales or the time/energy to put into getting the sales each period. So I had a killer going-out-of-business order (enough to keep me in business) but let my status go as of June. I miss the discount, but I have stocked up, and I don't miss the looming feeling of always needing to think about sales.

What is my favorite recipe?
This has got to be one of my favorites! Ever since Bethany, I have had a love for Beef Dip...

French Dip
1 beef chuck roast (3 lbs)
2 cups water
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
1 bay leaf
3 or 5 peppercorns
8 french rolls (or homemade buns...mmm...)

Place roast in slow cooker. Add water, soy sauce, and seasonings. Cover and cook on high for 5-6 hours or until beef is tender. Remove from broth and shred meat with forks. Keep warm. Strain broth; skim off fat. Pour broth into small cups for dipping. Serve on rolls. SO GOOD!!!

What is my favorite thing to bake?
My all time favorite thing to bake, when the house isn't 30 degrees, and when I have nothing but time, is bread/buns. It is so relaxing to mix the dough, wait, kneed the dough, wait, kneed, wait, form bread/buns, wait, bake, wait, bake, wait, bake, wait. You always have to be around, but there is so much rising time that it's relaxing! I love it. Plus, who doesn't love fresh bread straight out of the oven???
My second favorite, because it only takes 20 minutes start to finish, is Chocolate chip cookies. I have the best recipe, so if you want to taste it, you'll have to request a batch of my cookies. I would love to share! And maybe, if you ask nicely, I'll post the recipe here for you all to try in your own homes...just maybe... : )

When will there be Niki and Nathan juniors?
All I can say is that there will be Niki and Nathan juniors when God's timing is right. (Sorry, that's all I've got for ya!)


Well, thanks for the questions guys, that was fun! Any further questions are welcome!