Where do you "belong"?

This past week, I read the book The Search to Belong by Joseph R. Myers. It's provoked alot of thought for me. The book talks about the different spaces in which we belong. These spaces are labelled, in the book, as public, social, personal, and intimate.

Have you ever noticed that there are certain places where you just don't feel that you belong? Perhaps it's a new town where everyone else knows each other and you are left feeling like an outsider. Maybe it's Costco where everyone else is a member, and you simply have a day pass. It could be a new job. Maybe even church? Does anyone feel that they just don't belong at church on Sunday...that they're just a visitor even though they've been attending for years? Or maybe you feel that you don't belong in your cell/small group, even though the group is designed for belonging and feeling as though you have somewhere to share the stuff of your life? Think of a few of these "awkward" places in your life, as significant or insignificant as they may be. Write them down. Now take a moment to ask yourself, "what is it that gives me the feeling that I don't quite belong?"

Why is it that we don't feel that we belong in certain places and yet feel so "at home" in others?

What places do you feel like you DO belong? Having coffee with a certain friend? Shopping at a certain store where you know the employees? Visiting your parents for the weekend? What places put you at ease? Now write these places down. Take a minute to think of what it is that makes you feel like you belong in these places.

As I look around my own life, and become honest with myself about where I feel that I do and do not belong, I am surprised at some of the places where I feel belonging and at some of the places where I do not. It is an interesting exercise to try. Once you have some ideas about places of belonging and what makes them places of belonging, it is easier to create places where others feel that they belong. It makes you watch what you say in an effort to include everyone you intend to include or to put up a boundary where it is appropriate (or even necessary).

I would love to hear some of the places you feel that you do and do not feel belonging and what you've come up with regarding "why?". Either leave a comment, or send me an email (dollface213@hotmail.com) or facebook message. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the topic.