A New Normal

When people ask me how I’m doing these days, I rarely know what to say. I could say good, because dealing with the church situation doesn’t consume our days anymore. We’ve found, what I call, a “new normal”. For a while, when asked, I said, “stressed and tired” (but good). But in the last couple days I haven’t even felt that stressed or tired. I feel like I’m back to normal, either having a good day or bad one. But when people ask me how I’m doing, they’re usually asking in relation to “that”. Is it ok that we don’t think about it all the time anymore? Is it ok that we’ve reached a “new normal” and are happy? I feel like we should still be struggling, or at least feel like that’s what people kinda expect. But really, we’ve been dealing with the core issue for years already and the main struggle had far more to do with confession and exposure than it did with the actual struggle that started it all.

For about a month, I felt like we were so broken and like there was a big gaping hole where our life used to be. I feel like we’ve come to solid ground again, like at least part of our life has been put back together. Sure, there’s still a lot of healing and work to be done, but the initial flesh wound (exposure) has pretty much healed. There will always be a scar, and perhaps there is some scarred tissue that we will continue to feel (maybe forever) but when I say we’re good, it’s because we’re actually doing good.

Some of you may be wondering about Nathan’s job. He’s working at Cargill here in Altona as a soil tester by dry day and construction super-hero by wet day. God really knew what He was doing in providing us with this job. (I shouldn’t be surprised anymore…) When Nathan applied for this job, we were both hesitant to take it because it meant long hours and that we would hardly see each other for a month – we thought. I felt almost right away that Nathan should take the job, but I couldn’t figure out where this thought was coming from and never even guessed that it would be from God. It just didn’t make sense to take it, so I was really confused at what I was feeling. Well, Nathan decided to take it and almost right away, the rain started. In the first two weeks of the job, Nathan had 3-4 days off because of rain/wetness and 3-4 shorter days (only 9-ish hours). Shorter days. Days off. Some days Nathan has been on the field for over 12 hours, like we expected, but he’s found that he loves the job! He is in a truck by himself all day (when he’s on the field) and enjoys his CBC radio and the great outdoors! It’s great time for processing and thinking and also just shutting the mind off and seeing something different for a while! God has been providing hours (to pay the bills), down time (for Nathan to rest), and a job that Nathan loves! Isn’t He amazing?!

Thank you so much for all your prayers…we have felt so much prayer and support in the past month (ish). I’m not writing this so that you will feel that you can stop praying for us. We still appreciate all your prayers as there is still much healing to be done. But I want to let you know that there is joy and hope in our lives and that is very much thanks to God and everyone praying. So thank you!