Merry Christmas!

Christmas morning. I woke up and looked at the clock. Good. Twenty more minutes to sleep. Three minutes later, Nathan wakes up, looks at the clock and jumps out of bed. I say, "Still fifteen minutes to sleep..." He asks when the alarm was going to go off. I look at the clock again and jump out of bed. When I had set the alarm last night, I definitely set it for pm instead of am. Oops. My bad. Now, you must understand something. Any regular Christmas morning this wouldn't have mattered at all. You wake up lazily (unless you have kids) and saunter into the kitchen and make a cup of coffee and then sit looking at the tree and pondering why this day is so special until the whole family is there and you can begin the festivities. This Christmas, we had to be the church by 9:00 and it was already 8:15. We rushed and I ended up being in quite the rotten mood. Why? One, because we had to be at the church first thing Christmas morning (I'm not going to want to do that once I have kids!). I'm not used to that. And two, because we'd slept in and I didn't even have a nice relaxed Christmas morning with my husband. Well, once Nathan left, I sat down at the piano and started playing because that is usually quite effective at relaxing me and making me look at things in perspective (good worship time) and God led me to the song, "Sanctuary." It refocused me on why we're doing this Christmas day service and why we're even in this church to begin with. It was such a good twenty minutes. It reminded me to always take those few minutes to stop running and just re-focus.

Lord, prepare me
to be a sanctuary
pure and holy
tried and true
With thanksgiving
I'll be a living
sanctuary
for you.

Almost Christmas!

I love Christmas. I think I always have. White Christmases. Not white Christmases. Real tree Christmases. Not-real tree Christmases. As I've been getting into the Christmas spirit and preparing for the upcoming holiday, I've been thinking about the real meaning of Christmas (as I do each and every year), and I've been wondering if how we celebrate Christmas is heretical and if Christmas really has become an entirely heathen holiday. Trees and lights Santa and gifts and traditions and all....hmm...

Now, I've heard of some Christians who don't believe that Christmas should be celebrated (at least not in the traditional December 25th way) because it has become so consumerized and not about Jesus. Instead, they believe that it should be celebrated each day of the year and our joy and thanksgiving to God for sending his Son should be shown each day of the year. Don't get me wrong. This is true. We should live out our joy and peace and thanksgiving and celebration all year long, but isn't God the creator of celebration, as well? In fact, if I remember Spiritual Disciplines at Bethany correctly, isn't celebration actually a spiritual discipline?? So why then should we shun the celebration just because some/many people don't celebrate for the right reasons?

I've come to the conclusion that Christmas is good.

God intended that we take time aside to be with family. This shouldn't just be for a couple days in the dead of winter each year (Christmas), but isn't Jesus' birth a wonderful excuse for additional family get-togethers?? We should appreciate family and take time for them all year, yes, but Christmas is a great time to make memories that are different from the everyday routine of going to work/school and coming home and having supper together and then doing it all over again. Christmas means more time together to make different memories from the wonderful everyday ones.

We give gifts to appreciate what God gave us. For a child, gifts are gifts. Sure, children are always told that gifts are a symbol of God giving us a gift so we give gifts to each other, but really... what child is going to get excited about a gift for the sole reason that God gave him Jesus? Maybe I was just a shallow child, but to me, gifts were about the gifts. Is that wrong? No, I don't think so, because even if Christmas gifts mean nothing more to a child than getting presents, at least it's family time and the seed is planted to know the real reason for Christmas celebrations. What a child knows in theory, an adult can realize for themself later. For adults, gifts somehow change, at least for me they have. Sure, I still get excited about getting gifts, but they are more humbling than they used to be. Maybe it's because I realize that I don't really need these things, or maybe it's because I have my own budget and realize how much tighter things can get in November/December. I can almost imagine, then, how the Pharisee's must have felt when God suddenly gave the gift of his Son. They probably thought they didn't need anything because they had their lives under control. They obeyed the law, they had things their lives together, then suddenly the truth comes out that they actually can't do it on their own? Suddenly all their work and diligence is for nothing and they need this little baby to be saved? If I was in their place, I might have felt a little guilty for accepting God's Son because I knew what it cost God to send him here to earth and I wouldn't have really felt like I needed Him. It would have been terribly humbling to suddenly realize that you couldn't save yourself like you always thought. Gifts nowadays are sometimes a bit humbling, but it makes us realize how God gave something so much larger, something that cost him so much more than anything we give for Christmas these days, to a group of people who didn't really feel like they needed it. What incredible love is that?

The decorations? I don't know the significance of that. Maybe it's good because it draws families together to decorate the tree. Maybe putting lights on your house helps spread the joy of the season to the whole town so that the whole ambiance (great word, eh?) is a reminder of Jesus' birth. Maybe it just looks pretty and cozy and wintery. For summer: cut flowers. For winter: poinsettias, lights, candles and trees. Who knows? Maybe I'll explore the doctrine of Christmas decorations next year...

Having said all this, I still believe that without the underlying joy and purpose of celebrating God's gift of his Son to us, Christmas is nothing. Family time is only special when you all realize the true meaning of Christmas. Gifts are only negative consumerism unless you give what you can without breaking the budget, and as a display of love and a reminder of God's love for us. And decorations? Decorate with family, and enjoy the ambiance of joy, peace, love, and remembrance.


P.s. - About Santa: Santa is not Christmas and he shouldn't have any more part in Christmas than a mascot has in a football game. Sure it's entertaining to some, but everyone knows it's about the game, and not the empty, lifeless costume.

P.P.S. - I'm sure I'll continue to ponder these thoughts and perhaps my views will change. If anyone wonders about something I wrote or has anything to add, please feel free to do so. I am not bound to these words for life. I am bound to God, and he reveals himself throughout life; season by season.

I've been homeless for almost a week now...

Everyone knows the cheezy saying, "Home is where the heart is." Well, since last Tuesday, my heart has been in Charlotte, North Carolina with my husband. Nathan is there with three other youth pastors from Winkler at the National Youth Workers Convention. It sounds like he's having a great time! I just got an email from him today letting me know that yesterday he won $400 worth of stuff. What good Scottish Mennonite wouldn't be having a great time?!

Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home, trying to give enough attention to my faithful companion, Lennox, and trying to keep myself busy. I don't know how those two things go together, but it's been working decently well.

God has been teaching me alot through not having Nathan around. Nathan left on Tuesday and by Wednesday I was already feeling like I was starving for his company. I actually felt hungry for his company. I never knew before what it was like to actually be hungry for anything other than food before, but now I know! And as soon as I realized that it was hunger that I was feeling, I realized that I've never felt that way about God, and yet I sing songs about how I go to him "hungry" because I know he satisfies and how I "pant" for him like a deer for water. I've never actually felt that, but now that I know the feeling, it is something to strive towards spiritually.

On Thursday night, I had supper and the evening with my parents (who were in Manitoba for the weekend) and my sister (who lives in Winnipeg) and God showed me how invaluable family is. I guess I always take family for granted, but he showed me that my family really does know me well, despite how I sometimes feel, and that they are able to support me in a different way than any friends ever could. Family has a unique place and I should respect and revel in that rather than taking it for granted.

Friday was a night to myself, which I was very grateful for after the business of the week. I don't know what I did...I think maybe I wandered around the house, waiting until it was finally a decent hour to go to bed. Not much, but it was relaxing!

On Saturday I left for the city with Patti to pick up some poinsettias from a greenhouse for a fundraiser that our youth did. I was back by 12:30 and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon from the comfort of my own blankets and pillows. I wonder if I'll ever outgrow naps...

Today is Sunday and I'm over the halfway mark of Nathan being gone. I'm so glad too. It's been sorta nice having all this time to myself, but the list of things that I wanted to accomplish since Nathan left has been left untouched because without a reason to get things done (Nathan), things just get put off. I just don't have any motivation to do anything! I talked to another wife today too who said the same thing happens to her when her husband leaves, so I know I'm not the only one. That helps!

So if anyone has any ideas about what I can do tomorrow and the next day to fill my time before Nathan comes home, feel free to let me know. I'm open to suggestions, although if housework is suggested, I've already thought of that, and it didn't work. I'm in need of something that will distract me...